...messed up another online quiz...

Naturally Smart


You're a naturally smart person. Your intelligence comes to you naturally, rather than from instruction - and you are better with applied or more real-world things... which comes in handy, here in the real world.


20% applied intelligence
40% natural intelligence

Got this from Lawrence. Ei Boss, pagaling agad! :)



Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com



sorry for the mod, ayaw lumabas ng image pagkinopya lang yung source code

life is a big lie...it's really too complicated to take seriously. :P

reynaline grace tugade

My life isn't that much different, I just learned a few things without realizing it....

Maybe I expect too much from myself, that I try to carry this burden on my own... But when I think about it, people have been helping me with it. I have been passing this cross around, not like the last time when I couldn't find anyone to carry it with me... Maybe because back then, nobody understood...

Maybe because I thought you needed me to be strong... so I pretended that I have learned to smile despite my depression... Or maybe because I have learned to let go of things faster now without realizing it myself... Maybe I just got too used to the pain, that it all seems ordinary now...

Today, Rei, I want to thank you for reaching out to me, for telling me your problems, and for listening to mine. It's nice to feel needed, and it's also nice to need someone (in a way)

Wishing you the best! :)

nights aren't what they used to be...

...can't sleep...figured that i might was well be productive and take advantage of yakal's high-speed connection....

i am sleepy, but all the thoughts in my head is keeping me awake... sat school later, must be up by 7:00 (or so); FP finally has a title; Genmeet soon, need a teaser; Must do marketing for FP; I feel like i've been replaced; E&R commeet, can i even stay awake for it; Mark getting mad at me because of my second committee; Need to edit Anicia and Klek's pix; Still have 186 to do before Sunday; Must meet Sheryl tomorrow; Must text, must not text; Download should be finished by now; Must finish my project soon; Life chapter is over, face it; Time is running out; My hand hurts; My e-fan is to noisy; Must gain weight; Maybe i should update my blog; emotional spillage; various one-liners said in my past; regrets, regrets, more regrets, and what was the other one, oh right, regrets.

Well, better get to work on Anicia's pic... and 186, and whatever I can finish in 2 hours.

FP Teaser:

Nandito lang ako...
Hihintayin Kita...
Maski na hindi ka dumating...

FINANCIAL PROJECT 2006

something new everyday

haha...something to blog about everyday... this blog doesn't feel like the results of boredom anymore... :) Feels awkward, but i should care about that too much, why? (hell if i cared about what others' thought, i'd be studying in another school enjoying cool air and a playstation 2 and not worrying about failing an exam that involves addition)

looking back, i've bee blogging about depression for too many previous entries, and people keep asking me if I'm alright. (di pa sila nasanay sa akin...been like this since we've *insert any name of a person i know here* met for the first time). Sure there were times when i gave more than usual significant effort to be happy, but I can't contort my face to that position forever. :) *thus smileys on my blog, to show my good mood* To anyone who cares, just stop...it's starting to get annoying. :) *more smileys in my blog*

went to court today. It was 4 (or 5) annulment cases and a rape case that was later held in the chamber (of secrets). Anyway, i learned something today! Hassle magkaasawa. Lalo na pagnagpakasal lang kayo dahil nabuntis mo yung babae... [conclusion: wag mag-asawa maski na mabuntis mo ang babae...joke (ok now i feel like victor...or so i think...no...i doubt he feels stupid whenever he says that)]

moving on... (double meaning, unintended, but quite possible) maybe i just saw someone in a place at a time to remind me of something...girl who i don't know, sitting alone in a very sentimental way, staring into the great space i like calling "kawalan" *therefore kung kinain ka ng kawalan, ikaw ay nakatitig sa isang napakalaking puwang sa buhay*. Anyway, maybe it was that little thought that "nobody has the right to be that sad" and "oh wait, i'm one to talk...ur...think to myself in an extremely audible way".

I need to cheer up. Pinky's starting to tell me to get psychological help, but i already know what a psychologist/psychiatrist (well, the gist...don't really know the terms they use) will tell me, so why bother. so maybe i should just do what i need to do and just get on with my life...(she'd be happy)... :) *again, smiley in my blog*

can't turn back time to take back what i've done, but i'd do it again anyway even if i could... some things are worth the pain. :) *more smileys in my blog*

nagging thoughts

i have no idea how much more i can pretend... (am not very good at it, even if i've been doing it most of my life...) Kanina, sinabi sa akin ni Rayvin
"Bakit lagi kang malungkot?" tapos mamaya "Nalulungkot ako sa itsura mo." *sigh* sorry Rayvin, ganito lang talaga ang mukha ko.

today was a significant effort to try to seem energetic and joyful...i tried, i failed...what else is new.

still have thoughts i want to tell you, but i'll wait (parang di pa ako nagsawa) for you to say your side first. stll believe that what happened was for everybody's best...which proves...(thoughts cut)

anyway, court tomorrow!!! woohooo go courthouse and would have been future career which dad still wants me to do but i don't feel like it anymore

...life...

it's all about the little things of interest that makes people feel better. there will always be another reason to keep smiling. :) image and warm fuzzy feeling c/o themexp.org

day of losses

...done with my usual rant to God...the usual God you'd be smart to send me to hell because if you bring me to heaven I WILL KILL YOU! But that's done, picked up the rosary i tossed and asked for forgiveness, whether he has, i don't give a damn, though.
the day was fine, i was down for a while, thinking if i did the right thing when i told her... down a bit lower when she seemed to avoid me somewhat... but it wsan't that bad, she did talk to me. As I planned for whatever future events could bring, the little glimmers of hope, the shadows of failures...

FP brought more stress with impending deadlines.

Then a guy tried to pick my phone from my pocket during the jeep ride home. I felt it, so i placed my phone in my bag. And voila, he succeeded in picking my phone from my bag without me realizing. oh mental barrier, you are useless...oh prayer for a safe journey home, you were also useless. I'd rather be stabbed in the chest right now, at least i'd be unconscious.

And more, i cannot find my flash disk. Who knows maybe it became a thieves consolation prize. (I am officially fed up with pocket-sized technology)

Maybe i became to accustomed to depression. Not the feeling behind my eyes, not the wounds and bruises in my fists, not the emptiness in my heart, not the murderous intent i have right now...i'd probably kill myself before i get to cry...and now my fan is noisy...

on the side note, stabbed a mouse with a cutter...a while later, i found out my phone got lost. God was not kind enough to let event B occur first.

something to laugh about

got this from zel's blog (hi zel!)

this is either one of the more inaccurate quizzes or i just have no idea to answer it to get my personality out. :)

Your Personality Is

Artisan (SP) You are both grounded and flexible. You adapt well to new situations. You are playful and free spirited - but you are also dependable and never flaky. You don't do well in conservative, stuffy situations. It's probably very hard for you to keep a normal job or stay in school. You are always up for fun and adventure. Most people are too boring for you. You take risks and bend the rules. And if things don't work out, you chock it up to life experience. In love, you tend to take things quickly - but you have a huge problem with commitment. At work, you need to make your own rules. You're best suited to be an entrepreneur. With others, you are animated and physical. You prefer doing something with friends to just hanging out. As far as your looks go, you tend to be buff and in good shape. Your spend more time on your body than your clothes. On weekends, you need to keep active. From cooking up a storm to running a 5K, you wear yourself out.

The Three Question Personality Test

futility of it all

i can pretend as much as I want to, but that won't make me feel any better... i guess no matter what heppens, this depression which i felt for the first time in the first year of college (or so i think i did) will always echo. it's a really funny empty feeling in your chest, as though your heart is getting smaller by the second... then it affects you and everyone will eventually notice it. Pretending nothing is wrong is easy the first few hours, but when you realize that you've simply taken too much, you just break... i am not a machine, i do have a heart (even if it is small) and after several hits (which i would really have loved to avoid, but chose not to for the sake of another) you'd loose your will to pretend and just want it all to end. bluntness and insensitivity... i can pretend to have it but eventually... hopefully sleep would do me better than last night.

comedy of it all:
if you keep giving out pieces of yourself, you'll eventually run out for yourself.

to everyone, sorry for the day, just have something in mind

reasons

life and fireworks. A moment of light, then before you know it, it's over.

The good thing, it also applies to some of the darker moments.

Things in life never last forever (if the other were true, she wouldn't be talking to me since forever) and sometimes we simply have to go through hell to realize the bit of heaven we have right now.

thought: "I believe" (and believing has gotten me farther than i expected)

morning coffee

cooling down my morning coffee a bit. (i think it's darker than usual, maybe it's because i placed too little creamer? or maybe it has something to do with the fact that i stored all three items needed [coffee, creamer, sugar] in not so air-tight storage causing all of them to develop some sort of expiration or something]

anyway, it has been a while.

thoughts:
coffee is bitter, but good (not like ampalaya)
i'd be happier if you drink less coffee, it doesn't do that much good for you (but it is still good, in another way)
coffee, when not taken for a time, can affect your sleeping habits, for the better! (unless you have a night shift) but in a way, some things are worth the sacrifice

not coffee-related thoughts
distance...maybe it's just my imagination, but some of the people i've been with last sem seems farther than they were before. Sure we only have 2-4 subjects together from the previous 5, but is that enough of an excuse to feel this distance? And for a change, i feel like they are the once distancing, instead of me. (oi, new experiences, sort of...[thinking of first year, first sem]...OK maybe not...) Some of the other people feel closer, though. That's good. :) (oi, new experience, Vincent enjoying the company of people too much...)

will post boiboi-monkey as soon as i get my hands on roommates resources. :)

may meeting nga pala ako ng 10:00, di pa ako naliligo...

and again

yakal internet connection is up again, broadband internet... joy
(now if only i can find someone competent enough to fix my LAN cable...)

what to blog about....life is nice recently, had 10 reasons to be depressed but 11 reasons to be happy, so that's good. :)

so another sem of figuring out how to speed up my PC; downloading quasi-useless data; trying to pass at least one accounting exam; doing a lot of JPIA stuff which i will probably not like doing but end up doing anyway; cleaning 500 mail from my inbox; overnights with Pinky or Pete; and other things I dare not blog about (yet) has begun.

happy birthday zel (3mins ago)