nagging thoughts

i have no idea how much more i can pretend... (am not very good at it, even if i've been doing it most of my life...) Kanina, sinabi sa akin ni Rayvin
"Bakit lagi kang malungkot?" tapos mamaya "Nalulungkot ako sa itsura mo." *sigh* sorry Rayvin, ganito lang talaga ang mukha ko.

today was a significant effort to try to seem energetic and joyful...i tried, i failed...what else is new.

still have thoughts i want to tell you, but i'll wait (parang di pa ako nagsawa) for you to say your side first. stll believe that what happened was for everybody's best...which proves...(thoughts cut)

anyway, court tomorrow!!! woohooo go courthouse and would have been future career which dad still wants me to do but i don't feel like it anymore