exhume me from my grave

open house ended a while ago (or i think it did), people are still noisy outside. apparently the quasi-gay federation of WW1 decided to drag the videoke machine inside the corridor...and now after 5 days of 3 hr sleeps, i'd have to go a bit longer... this sucks...having to be a week of insomnia and constipation is making me feel sick...

met with dawn and marlon for the first time since a while, they were the coolest roommates... not only were they entertainingly quirky, they were usually not in the room and were quite liquid, so i used to get a lot of freebies from them... now wasn't any different. dawn and marlon decided to have a pull up match with food as bet. marlon won and dawn gave us a 100 peso bill to buy food with, but they ended up leaving the bill with me, unspent. happiness comes in these little unexpected cash recoveries...

i have been campaigning for a week now for office in jpia... i learned that i hated campaigning...but it was a bridge to be crossed if i wanted a chance to win... i hated the idea of using sweet words and promises to entice people to tick your name over abstain... i hated passing around stickers with my name printed on it... but i wanted the position, and i am willing to give a lot more than a little effort to do it. i have plans for my last year in the organization, and i want to be the one to make them happen.

stress levels have been amazingly high recently... my night attacks of strange uncomfortable feelings has returned. the worse part is, i can't tell anyone close to me about it since my stress is campaign based. so to relieve some of it, i type my worries to this blog...

i am afraid of the thought of losing to abstain... even if several people tell me i have a sure chance of winning, i cannot ignore the fact that some jpians don't like me (i am not actually the most congenial person in upjpia)... i am also getting some second thoughts about my decision... can i really pull off a year of servitude and dedication when i can hardly convince myself that i need to go to tomorrow's satskul graduation...the worst part about this stress is the facade... you need to pretend to be alright, strong even... meaning i cannot talk about my stresses to any jpian...

*sigh* lost my mood to type any further