annoyed

...annoyed... no better adjective describes the feeling i have right now...

...maybe it's because he smiles...maybe because he acts close...maybe because he seems so old-fashioned...maybe because he thinks tucked in shirts and cleanly combed hair is cool... maybe because he poses on every table he can find...maybe because his eyes squint whenever he is "entertained"... maybe because he is ordering me around after being inactive in something else... maybe it's the way he talks... maybe because he merely exists and the devil inside me hates his every gut. whenever he's around, i feel like i have horns on my head, bat wings on my back, and a fork for a hand ornament.

am i supposed to be consumed by his burning enthusiasm for the committee? am i supposed to smile when he cracks a joke at me?

nope... all i have to do is get annoyed, and at least take the effort "not" to show that i am annoyed...


if a guy in Yakal dies of spontaneous combustion, his death would not have been too "spontaneous", i'd have found a way to kill him without anybody noticing that I did it.


hatred, it feels great. BWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

exorcist

while i was surfing the net, looking for a way to clean my sister's overly-virused computer, I cam across a very entertaining one-liner from www.download.com: "exorcising your possessed computer using spybot". I really enjoyed the thought that i was actually doing something that some people considered exorcism. :)

fixing pc's are so much easier as compared to fixing lives... maybe too many people depend on me (and they don't even realize that they're giving me a big burden). but for they're sakes i have to carry the weight on my shoulders (which feels heavy right now...can't straighten my back again).

why can't it be as simple as fixing bugs in a pc...download a registy fixer, download an adware cleaner, update virus definitions, full system scans, when all else fails reformat...if that still doesn't work, replace. people aren't like pc's. you cannot reformat their minds to clean up the bugs... you can't replace one life for another.

and now the antivirus software has a virus (this is one helluva messed up computer my sister has). exorcist i am not

reciprocate

this is just a funny thing i blurted out while my roommate and i were buying dinner.

reciprocating love is a funny thing,

if you give 4, you get back 1/4

if you give 100, you get back 1/100

the more you give out, the less you receive back.

so you should learn to give 1 and take back 1

otherwise give zero and get infinity in return. :)

love is something that was never supposed to be reciprocated. :)

shadows

when nothing you say can result in anything good, you just shut up.

face it, life is all about learning from the daily pain and suffering. I pity the happy, they live stupid. (OK, where did shut up when nothing you say can result to anything good go?)

reality, it's all about the fact that it doesn't seem real anymore.

as far as the rest of the world is concerned this is reality. as far as i am concerned, the world is looking instead of seeing.

"Sometimes it's cruel to be kind" ---you can learn a lot from anime. :)

and when happiness becomes mutually exclusive with a success rate of a maximum of 20%, we end up holding on to what we can hold on to... then letting go of everything else. and we would more often than not settle for second best.

~~ what am i supposed to be doing right now?

~~ i need to disappear for a while...

seriously?

moment of rest, feels nice...my brain feels weird, cannot type well...

it has been the best of times, it has been the worst of times... and i am enjoying myself somewhere in the middle.

depression feels so distant now... it's almost weird... not even the fact that i need an 80 all over again depressed me this time.

decided to just enjoy what i have right now...even if i'm not sure what it is. didn't want to feel this way, but after the results of this week... i guess it should be fine, right?

but as usual... i have to give up on things.

life...living it is just so costly, but it's the way we manage these costs that makes it so much fun to live. :)

what i think about before an accounting exam

...yup, i am hopeless...

...mejo kinakabahan ako para sa exam bukas, normally wala akong pakialam, bumagsak man o hindi, bahala na... siguro dahil mababaw lang ang inaral ko ngayon...

..face it, this is one of those miracles I cannot do...or maybe I'm just trying to find a reason to get away from all the stress...

..life is an allusion..

on previous cases, i know what to do... i just don't want to do it... but in this case, i have no idea what i should do...

mag-aral na nga

FP launch over

Tapos na ang FP Launch!

edit ko pa yung poster some times soon bago ko i-upload, mali pa yung date and stuff...

...good feelings right now, maybe it's because nobody explicitly said they hated the video...

...maybe because I can sleep well tonight...

...maybe it's just the beer...

...oh well, bukas na magtrabaho ulit, tulog muna ak. :)

-----

on the side note, I could have liked the launch better if she kept her word and went to the launch, I did make the closing credits for her...

oh well, bigay ko na lang yung CD.

LET"S GO FP!

Congrats kay Sheryl, ang sarap ng food at ang ganda ng set-up ng venue! The smoothness was all thanks to your planning, at masaya akong di tayo gaano nahassle sa event itself. :) [though i doubt you'll ever read this]

What was that?

Multi-tasking. Using roommates PC to do other stuff while my own PC renders videos.

Hating my task as FP promo vice-chair, it involves giving up on sleep. But it's a part of life, which I simply have to do. Beyond that, though I hate my job right now, I really like it as a whole. I know I'll feel much better this Friday (when I have accounting ...and econ?... to worry about.

would like to sleep now...

just noticed my previous post...

...does this really have to happen? How did I let it get this far...maybe I should stop thinking of myself for a while and think of a "compromise." Maybe I'm just afraid of the would-be consequence, or maybe I'm just having cold feet right now... Why did I change so much?

thining too much. :)

FP launch! Bukas na!

FP mode

akalain mo, may internet kami ng hapon. at competent ang speed niya.

random thoughts, can't stay too long, need to go to an FP meet later. Hassle yung FP video, may lumalabas na mga problema. Biglang may missing video codecs, missing video clips, extremely large video files na di kaya ng mahina kong PC, and so on...

Nagapahula ako kay Boiboi nung isang araw (or so). King Spade, Ace Heart, Ace Spade, 9 Spade, 6 clubs, 5 Spades, Queen Heart. Making better progress than I first thought. :)

haha...don't know what to do with life anymore. :)

FP mode na lang, sana mapostpone ang exam sa 114!

FP launch, 2 tulog na lang!