goodbye

...maybe i'm worrying about things that really shouldn't matter...maybe things won't be much different despite what will happen in the near future...but still, i feel things just doesn't have a reason anymore... i'm sorry if i'm like this, but i really can't help but feel like i've missed a deadline... and like things don't matter anymore...like it's over... but if they really don't matter... why do i feel so empty. face it, was never the emotional type... maybe my low-low emotional self is acting up and making me feel like this... myabe i want to give up because it becomes it gets too complicated...

...i admit that the things i have to go through hurts quite a bit...whether the pains are worth the trouble are still questionable. i often try to convince myself that the pains i have to go through is worth it...this way i won't give up. ...if it means i have to give up on a few things, i will give up to pass it... if it means having to stay up a few nights, i'll do it... but i want to know if i'm actually getting closer to my goal...or do i want to know? i'm afraid of the truths i do not want to accept... so i pretend i have given up, despite hoping... so i pretend nothing is wrong, even if my insides are being torn apart.. are the pains really taking me anywhere? i don't want to think it doesn't...been hurting too much

...right now i feel exhausted... in a way that i don't think even temporary sleep can satisfy... is it wrong for me to want to disappear? for me to just forget everything?

..in the end, it all goes down to the fact that I DO NOT WANT TO LET GO.. but i have to do what i must... maybe it's too soon to give up... but a part of me has had enough of the pains... but then the larger part of me...still...

...i'm sorry if i feel like this, but i need a fail-safe, so i will fill up shifting papers sometime tomorrow... i don't want to give up, but i still need to consider my alternatives...my larger future... because i know that if things do not work out, it won't and unlike others, there won't be another chance...

on the lighter side :) :) :)
Klek: "Vincent, nahulog ID mo."
Vincent: "mm (nods head...busy with 186 exams, hating the fact that he doesn't know how to make an ERD)"
Klek: "Vincent, yung ID mo."
Vincent: "Alam ko..."
Klek: "Di mo pupulutin?"
Vincent: "Mamya na"

10:00 pm, vincent opens his wallet, realized he has forgotten to pick up his ID... *sigh*