my little world (debugged)

i downloaded this cool program called google earth. it gives you a bird's eye view of the world and get's pix in better detail than a world map. while staring at the japan area, i realized how insignidicant i am to the rest of the world. i am less than one pixel in this world.

anyway here are some screenshots







img 1: yakal residence hall. (i think you can click to zoom) the smallgreen x is my room...roughly


img 2: 059 BGH compound, Baguio City (boxed in). half of the house is 058 BGH compound

img 3: College of Business Administration, UP Diliman

img 4: Baguio City National High School

--- on the lighter side

talked to Berna, Lawrence, and Laurice till 1 am last night. we had a senseless discussion about "Berna and Lau's Challenges in love." "Chickens and Boyfriends." "Overnight Group Working." "JPIA" etc. Masaya rin mawalan ng sense every now and then. =D

...it shouldn't be mine, but i feel better this way...

...don't misunderstand me... the last thing i want to do with my life is to add more problems into it, it just so happens that listening to your (used in plural sense) problems make me forget my own and realize that my little life is indeed just another little life...

purpose, it's what makes sure i don't stab myself with the cutter i always keep at bedside...meron pang may kelangan sayo, bawal ka pang mag-shortcut... meron pang saysay ang buhay, may bukas pa, may magagawa ka pa naman...

they don't mean to gang up on you, they just do because it's easier to take a side... to support the "victim" by the easiest way possible: make the other the "villain". Yes, it is unfair...but they are human. Yes, the emotions that you have given was rewarded by nothing more than pain... but they are human... People try to bring the sense of "humane" into a just sense...but isn't it more "humane" to be unfair, vengeful, unthrustworthy. You are human after all, born with sin. And humans are born with the capacity of malice, hatred, and deceit...all because they're sense of love has been twisted in a way.

life is easier when you find someone to support you...it may not be fair, it may not be respectful, it may not be right...but it is easier...and the fact that you are human gives you all the reason in the world to become unfair.

simply put, only the naive would find the world FAIR. and only the idiot would keep on smiling after the world has stepped on him/her.

so why are you still smiling? why do you choose to smile even if it already hurts too badly? why do you care for those who did not even consider what you may have felt?

IS IT WORTH IT?

For the record, i'm siding with no one (as i always have). All i can do is give you advise that may or may not even be sound. I want you to talk, don't shut the world out just because you are afraid of what it will say. It doesn't have to be now, but you should still do it. Making mistakes in the past won't give you an excuse to keep making more...so please, even if you know the answer will hurt you, have the courage to listen to it...it shan't be a comfort in the present, but i think it's the only, truly fair way to end it, for both of you... don't make the same mistakes the other has made... emotions are (bluntly said) disposable, and i hope that the pains you feel are also the same.

i really can't force you to heed what i've typed though, so i leave it up to you. it may or may not be the best thing to do, but i hope to see your true smile back someday soon. praying for you.

inside the residence hall, i sat down and blogged

i began reading paolo coehlo's by the river piedra, i sat down and wept. the first few pages were kinda awkward since i have this strange feeling that i shouldn't be reading anything that has to do with romance for the time being. moreover, the book i'm reading is highlighted, so it's hard to miss the "important lines"

Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments [m dash] but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent mark. ANd one day we will look back with ptide and faith at the journey we have taken.

- Paulo Coehlo, By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept


today fate finally took a turn for the better and gave my sister a dormitory. sure, it involved little help from me, but i can still be proud of myself for actually being the right person at the right time to make some difference. (much about every good thing i do in life involves no planning). she will be under close observation, but after she gets in, her staying should not be any of my concern anymore. my deal with my parents was simply to TRY to get her in a dorm. now that i have done something, i should care less, right?

public apology:
i'm sorry for being a jerk. hope to be friends again sometime soon.

reconnected to reality

broadband internet access, i have missed thee. the usual 8-1 sked is ttill on, but it's better than dial-up.

bente na ako, doble na lang 40 na ako, tapos doble 80. woohoo, matanda na ako!

my new roommate is a would-be JPIAn. He seems kinda nice, sings out of tune a lot, but i've gotten used to it after being exposed to my own voice for 20 years.

a lot of things has happened recently, and they happened right under my nose, but i never noticed them. i guess myu bluntness and insensitivity is at its peak.

tapos na rin ang mini-SAG jobs ko, magsisimula na ang mini-NF and *kung pumayag si lawrence* mini-FP jobs ko. Xempre priority pa rin ang EnR duties ko. (parang may mali)

today, habang on-my-way-to-bribe-dorm-manager, nakita ako ni mam sonia. tawagan ko raw ang isang babaeng nagngangalang erica tabanda, isang unknown person from UP Baguio about a slot in Ilang to accomodate her for her would be stay in UP Diliman...in a strange turn of events, it became a slot for my sister, which for some unknown reason became a priority in my life. Ngayon, sana naman makuha na ng kapatid ko ang slot na yun. (mahirap maglakad ng mga papeles ng biglaan... *sigh* you would have been proud of me) :P

and who was i talking to again?